He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize