his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
