are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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