..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
