apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize