just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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