Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Sober January is a disaster.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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