Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
