well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Randomize
