Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize