Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
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