I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Randomize
