I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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