Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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