She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
