He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
