'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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