Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
