I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
