a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
