You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
