I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
is it fun? or sober?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
