Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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