oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Randomize
