I seem to have left my pride at pride
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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