So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
