saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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