You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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