Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
