There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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