me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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