I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
