If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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