u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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