Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
So. Much. Porn.
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