I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
