If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
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