she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
its not stalking. its research.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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