There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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