i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize