she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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