I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
