you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
