Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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