I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Randomize
