so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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