so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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