it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
