capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize