dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize