I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
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