You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Randomize
