Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Im part way to drunk.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
