Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
