Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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