i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
