The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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